Being a full-time housewife or stay at home mom is not as easy at what others are thinking. I bet most of us are wondering how hard it is being a stay at home mom. What do they usually do other than house chores, taking care of their children and others?
Here is a story about a stay at home mom. See how this Malaysian mom shares her experiences as a full-time housewife aka stay-at-home mom.
What A Stay At Home Mother Do?
They used to be called Tai-Tai or housewives, as this mother, Mabel shares with you. Today’s generation of stay-at-home mothers, which she feels is a more politically correct and gentle sounding term is a far cry from the traditional stereotypes.
I must state first and foremost that this piece is merely about the trials of being a stay-at-home mother. It doesn’t demean or ignore the energy and effort working mothers put into caring for their families and home.
The Beginning
I never really thought of becoming a stay-at-home mother until I got pregnant with my eldest child. At that time, I was living abroad in a foreign country after having moved to join my equally foreign husband. I was running a little business of my own, but for the most part, I was a stay-at-home wife. So it seemed natural to continue on the tangent and evolve into a stay-at-home mother.
As I gave it more thought, I began to feel that I was making the right choice. I wanted to be there to witness my children’s milestones, soothe their downs, celebrate their joys and essentially give all that I can provide to the time, energy and eventually, my sanity.
People Thought I Was Wasting My Postgraduate
A few people thought that I was wasting my postgraduate education, which came from plenty of money and time. Some even went so far as to say that the women of today should strive to build a career and not a family. It would seem that my decision was starting to offend my bra-burning sisters, who were all for the independence and freedom of women. As word of my choice spread to my family and friends, you could see two camps starting to form, and they were not equal in strength at all. It would seem that the idea of being a stay-at-home mother was offensive to some.
“You’ll be out of touch with the world.”
“He’ll get bored with you and find another woman.”
“You’ll be bored because it’ll just be about the kids, kids, kids.”
“You’ll be at the whim and fancy of your husband, and he’ll treat you like a doormat.”
Feel Insulted?
I didn’t know whether to feel insulted for myself or my husband. At that time, the decision was made, and I reminded my parents that at the end of the day, what is important now is no longer what I need but what my kids need and they need a stay-at-home parent more than I need a job. It has been three years, and I am a stay-at-home mother to two gorgeous kids. I still encounter people who raise an eyebrow when I tell them that my job is taking care of my kids. My close friends and family know that it is more than just that.
Parenting Isn’t Easy
Those of us with kids would know that parenting isn’t easy and those of us who are stay-at-home mums have a really tough job being a jack of all trades and to some degree, a master of many. We have become the cheerleader, janitor, maid, laundry woman, chef, short-order cook, designer, mover, educator, referee, chauffeur and entertainer – singing, storytelling, dancing, whatever that rocks your kid’s boat.
Typical Day
A typical day for me begins at 7 am when I wake up to get both kids ready for breakfast. My daughter who has to be in kindy by 8:30 am needs to get her hair tied, which is a preventive measure against lice – a plague, if you ask me, so that means I have to play the hairdresser. Luckily for me, my son is content to play by himself while I comb, tie and braid her hair. There is the mad rush to stuff breakfast into both kids, so I have to either cook or serve up something.
After the kids are done, I have to clear the breakfast table and drop the eldest off at kindy before reaching home to give my son his morning bath. That means entertaining him and dealing with his dirty clothes and diapers. Not to forget cleaning up after cleaning him up – dry the bathroom, get rid of his bathwater, and so forth.
He gets some playtime on the floor for the next hour, and if I’m lucky, he will allow me to go online. I will then check my emails – most of the time, its when I call home and talk to my parents via Skype. Before long, it’s 9 am – time for my son’s nap. It takes about 15 minutes to put him to bed. Once he is asleep, I am off to do my other chores, which is to prepare lunch, tidy up the house, check on the laundry as there is always some laundry to do every day.
Running Errands Like A Madwoman
When 11 am rolls around, I wake up my son – if he’s not awake yet and get ready to pick my daughter up from kindy. Around this time I will be running errands like a madwoman. Once the kids are at home, I will rushing to cook lunch, set the table. So that my hubby can have a comfortable meal-time once he steps through the door. By this time, I am worn out, and it’s not even half a day yet. It’s when I tell myself that all those people who think I just sit at home and do nothing seriously have no idea what mums like me do on a daily basis. How I wish I could just sit down and do nothing!
Some Me Time
The afternoon came by, and both of my kids went for a nap. That means some me-time where I do some knitting, design work and emails. Homeschooling the eldest, she’s on phonics, basic concepts, numbers, and so forth – this is where my postgraduate education comes in. I then have to prepare dinner.
Apart from that, I have to play as a role of the entertainer, then lifeguard or referee in the evenings when the kids get together and play. It can be really emotionally draining trying to keep track of who did what to who!
When Night Comes
Gosh, it’s tiring even to try to list exactly what I do! All I can say is that by the time 8 pm, the kids are winding down for their bedtime. Believe it or not, it is still not over. I still have clean up the kitchen, laundry to fold, and my exercise regime to go through. Yes, to stay fit and whatnot, which I squeeze in 20 minutes of exercise. It has been ages since I last went to bed before midnight. Gone are the days when I ever had the time for facials and have nice quiet soaks in the bathtub.
Oh, the routine is the same on weekends and holidays.
Yes, life is pretty much a whirlwind of activities. At times, it can get really crazy, but you know something? I wouldn’t trade or give it up for anything and not even a million trillion bucks!
What do you think of the story Mable shares? We surely hope it inspires all stay at home mothers to be as brave as Mable. As she sacrifices a lot for her family and we should acknowledge it. No matter how highly educated we are, our family is always the first.
Make sure to stay tuned to our blog for more parenting and relationship stories from other mothers. Don’t forget to check out Motherhood.com.my for your choice of baby items and needs to care for your little ones on our online store!