Many factors could cause a person to be a single parent including divorce, death or adoption. Being a single parent is hard, but manageable. It is not impossible to raise happy and healthy children single-handedly.
As long as your parenting is filled with love, care, warmth, empathy and flexibility, it is enough to have mentally healthy children despite all the flaws.
Challenges of single parenting
Raising a child is never an easy job. But when you have to do it alone, it is even harder. Everything needs to be doubled up. Juggling between parenting, career and life balance without any support, it would be hectic and stressful not only to the parent but also the children.
Coping with loss and the new role
Losing a support system would not only be hard for the parent, but also the children. Resulted from the lost, your children and you would feel hopeless and helpless. You used to move as a family before, and now all the burden suddenly lays on your shoulder.
Financial difficulties
As a sole breadwinner, financial difficulties are not something that you can easily dodge. Some single parent has to do multiple jobs just to pay the bills. The situation eventually leads into a dilemma on the kids. They would feel neglected and dejected on the situation as if they are the burden to their parent.
Helping children to cope with the new lifestyle
Some kids are really bad with changes and will find it hard to cope with the new situation. With no best friends in the new environment, the parent is the only family they have to look up to whenever the hard times hit.
Dilemma of balancing parenthood/career/life
A single parent is naturally a go-getter. They will try to do everything alone and will refuse any help unless when they are in a desperate situation. With the children as their first priority, it is impossible for them to afford balanced life.
Low self-esteem, self-confidence, loneliness, self-guilt
Envies with the friends that could live with their mother and father, a child might develop low self-esteem and lack of confidence. They will feel as if they are lacking in so many aspects for not having a perfect family.
Single parent tends to feel lonely as they are alone on the boat. With no partner, it is hard for them to talk with if something goes off.
At times, they will ask themselves are they doing the right thing or is their parenting and children are okay, and all these questions will lead to self-guilt of not being able to provide a perfect family for their children.
Single Parent: Hard But Manageable
Being a single parent though it is hard, but manageable. As a person you deserve to be happy. However, happiness needs efforts.
Utilise every support system in your surrounding
You may not have a partner but surely you have many support systems in your surrounding including you parents, friends, colleague or cousins.
Open your eyes and utilize every each of them. It is okay to ask them for help. It won’t make you any less of a parent. Talk to them of anything that has been bothering you. Let out your everything in your chest and feel free.
Learn to budget things out
It is expensive to raise children but it is okay to budget things out to more important things. Learn to distinguish between needs and wants. Once you are more stable, you may start to expand your expenses and improve your lifestyle.
Manage your time, don’t forget to spare some for yourself
It is common for a single parent to have a hectic schedule. But do spare some times for yourself. Allocate a ‘me time’ away from the kids at least once a week. A quiet coffee time alone at a coffee house is enough to rejuvenate.
Stop self-blaming
Self-blaming is really bad for your mental health and needs to be stopped immediately. Start to socialize but remember to only choose positive people that could lighten the positivity in you.
Once a while you might want to consider re-decorate your house or office table for new air. Add some plant to help alleviating the mood. Did you know that plant also could help you to be more focus on decision making? What a perfect help for a single parent!
Offer unconditional love to children
Let them feel the presence of your love. Don’t be ashamed to show your feeling and always nurture them with calm and care. Make thousand hugs and kisses as your routine and you will see how attached they are to you.
Happy Parenting is Manageable
Be attentive
In any relationship with whomever it may be, communication is the key. When you are home and talking to your children, try to be as attentive as possible. Show them that you are interested with their stories and response to their problem with positive thoughts. Remember, you are the person they trust when they are willing to open up with you.
Spare quality time
Children crave for your attention. They would want it 24/7 if possible. Try to squeeze some quality time through you tight schedule. Have dinner together, help them through their homework and an outing on the weekend would be fantastic!
Find good daycare
It is important to have someone trusted and capable to take care of your children when you are away. Invest some money in a good daycare if you could or at least find them a recommended baby sitter. Ask around who have little kids too, get their opinion and search for review online.
Stay positive
If you want to have a positive relationship, you need to be positive too. Chase away all the negative thought. Stop being afraid if you are not enough for your children when actually to them you mean the world.
You might think that you are alone, but the truth is you are not when you have your children. Your children and you are the real support system for each other.
There are pros and cons of being a single parent. It might be hard, but it is manageable and not impossible to have happy and healthy kids. Stay tuned with Motherhood Story to get more parenting tips that can be implemented into your family.