As I read about Ms Tay Mei Mei, a 35-year-old Singaporean mom who fell from her apartment and died with her five-month-old baby last week, I was out of words.

It is such an uncomfortable piece of news and what an unfortunate loss. Although the police are still investigating the cause of death, there’s a big possibility that it was a suicidal attempt due to Postpartum Depression (PPD) that was haunting the deceased.

The story of Ms Tay Mei Mei is not the first and won’t be the last. There’s a lot of mummies who had to be a fighter for their own self, especially after giving birth, and some might just ‘lose it’.

What are Postpartum Depression (PPD) and its symptoms?

Postpartum Depression or PPD is a form of depression that occurs after childbirth. Sudden change in hormone levels during pregnancy and after giving birth, may lead to PPD.

Baby Blues VS PPD

Baby Blues

Many women have mood swings, feeling sad, anxious, or overwhelmed, having crying spells and trouble sleeping after giving birth. These are known as baby blues and they usually go away after 3 to 5 days.

Unlike baby blues, PPD is more severe and prolonged. It usually begins within the first month after childbirth and could last up to 12 months.

If your baby blues don’t stay for longer than 2 weeks, you may have postpartum depression.

PPD

Postpartum depression is a serious mental illness that involves the brain and affects your behaviour and physical health.

Feeling hopeless or empty after childbirth is not a regular or expected part of being a mother. It could interfere with your day-to-day life and to some extent, you might even feel unconnected to your newborn.

Symptoms of PPD

Most common symptoms of postpartum depression including:

Sleeping difficulties.
Change in appetite.
Feeling tired, excessive fatigue.
Frequent mood changes.
Loss of pleasure.
Feeling worthlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness.
Not having any interest in the baby, not feeling connected to the baby, or feeling like your baby is someone else’s baby.
Withdrawing from friends and family.
Thoughts of death or suicide or hurting someone else.

What causes postpartum depression (PPD) and the risk factors?

Levels of estrogen and progesterone are the highest they will ever be during pregnancy. These hormone levels quickly drop back to their pre-pregnancy levels after delivery.

Sudden changes in hormones may trigger symptoms of postpartum depression.

On the other hand, levels of thyroid hormones, that help regulate how your body uses and stores energy from food, may also drop after giving birth. Low levels of thyroid hormones can cause PPD symptoms.

Other factors that might increase the chances of PPD, including:

History of depression prior to becoming pregnant, or during pregnancy.
Age at time of pregnancy — the younger you are, the higher the chances.
Ambivalence about the pregnancy.
Children — the more you have, the more likely you are to be depressed in a subsequent pregnancy.
Limited social support, living alone, marital conflict.

Sleep-deprived and overwhelmed may lead to trouble handling even minor problems and cause PPD.

Feeling anxious about your ability to care for a newborn, feeling less attractive, struggle with your sense of identity, or feel that you’ve lost control over your life can contribute to postpartum depression too.

Treating Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression that isn’t treated can weaken your ability to bond with your baby, and affect the whole family. To some extend, PPD may lead to postpartum psychosis that is more severe and damaging.

Postpartum depression is treated differently depending on the type and severity of a woman’s symptoms.

The common types of treatment for postpartum depression are:

#1 Therapy

Talking to a therapist, psychologist, or social worker is one of the methods to treat depression. Mummies will learn strategies to change how depression makes one think, feel, and act from the sessions.

#2 Medicine

Antidepressants can help relieve symptoms of depression and some can be taken while you’re breastfeeding. Antidepressants may take several weeks to start working. It can only be prescribed by doctors.

Having depression can affect your baby. Getting treatment is important for you and your baby. Taking medicines for depression or going to therapy does not make you a bad mother or a failure. Getting help is a sign of strength.

Caring for Postpartum Depression Patients

Postpartum depression is real and not just a lunatic woman who worried about nothing.

Just like the case of Ms Tay Mei Mei, the community reported that she looked happy and was a fine mum when she was around the people, yet, she decided to take away her life and her baby’s.

Family members, especially the spouse must give support and care to the fullest to the mother who just delivered the baby.

When it comes to helping the spouse to manage postpartum depression, what you do matters significantly. What you think might help, might not. It may even make things worse.

For the Father

For dads, here’s one thing to remember, no matter how hard you try or how much you love your wife, recovery might take longer than you want it to. You must be willing to wait this out with her.

As a caring husband, you might want to consider to apply the following to ease the ‘burden’ of your loving wife who just gave birth to your beautiful baby:

Help out with the dishes, laundry, cleaning up and others.
Set limits with the time to spend on friends.
Take care of the dinner.
Accompany her to doctor’s appointments. Write down the concerns and questions you have and discuss them with her doctor or therapist.
Just be with her. Sit with her. No TV, no kids, no pet, no bills, no newspaper. Just you and her. Let her know you are there. This isn’t always easy to do, especially with someone who seems so sad or so distant. Five minutes a day is a good place to start.

She might not expect you to treat her like a diva, but small matters do make a lot of difference.

Do check on her regularly, call her from work to check if she’s having a bad day.
Look her in the eyes when she talks to you.
Encourage her to get as much rest as possible. Help out with the baby, so she can get some uninterrupted sleep.
Be patient.

Some major decisions that might need your wife’s input may be put to postpone any until after she is feeling better.

Help and Support for Postpartum Depression

Untreated postpartum depression can affect your ability to parenting.

You may not be able to care for your baby, trouble in focusing on your baby’s needs and your own, and have a higher risk of attempting suicide.

Feeling like a bad mother can make depression worse. It could also affect the child’s development as well.

Seek help before it is too late. The Ministry of Health does have professional therapists that you could refer to for help. You may want to go to the general hospital to set your appointment with the psychologist for therapy sessions.

You might also want to check out Postpartum Support International (PSI) which is an organization that has volunteers who offer to care and informed support and resources to moms and their families.

You could contact Ms Valerie Lynn at +6018-3937822, the PSI Support Coordinators for Malaysia.