Have you ever thought about your parenting styles? How do you deal with your little children when they cry or throw tantrums?
How about guiding them in their homework? With the ongoing pandemic, children are relying on their parents more than ever to complete their school tasks.
Not only with workbooks and worksheets, parents nowadays even have to record their children and submit the videos onto Google Classroom or other learning management tools.
This is only the case if children are willing to do their homework.
With the access to their mobile devices, it’s no surprise that they would rather play games or watch videos than solving their math problems.
This just makes the whole situation more challenging to deal with – especially when we also have work deadlines with deal with!
Does this mean that we should yell at our children? Or should we just give away the answers so that they can submit their homework on time?
NO, we must avoid these shortcuts to get our children to complete their homework.
In fact, there are 5 parenting styles that you really should not adopt whenever you are in a homework battle with your children!
Worry not; we also provide alternatives that you can apply to make the process a little less challenging.
Avoid These 5 Parenting Styles When Guiding Your Children
#1: The CCTV Parent
What does a CCTV do? You are right: to monitor ALL THE TIME, except when it’s switched off.
If you are a CCTV parent, you are more likely to monitor your children throughout the process of completing their homework. You keep your eyes solely on your children and their homework.
It might seem that you are a responsible and dedicated parent who guides your children with their homework. Unfortunately, this parenting style might actually backfire.
Not only will they feel pressured under your constant monitoring, they might be more fearful to try out new methods to find answers.
Here’s why.
Most of us might not compliment our children when they answer the questions in their homework correctly. However, we point out or even scold them immediately, even for a trivial mistake in their homework.
This leads us to constantly interrupt our children’s thinking process of completing their homework. Having their enthusiasm dampened for a long time, they would eventually be dependent on you for their homework.
They simply stop thinking as they know that you will give them the answers!
Instead of overly getting involved with your children’s homework, encourage your children to explore more and make more mistakes. Have more faith in them and you will raise your children to be independent, competent and confident adults.
Besides monitoring your children’s homework, learn more on why you should monitor your children’s online activities.
#2: The Volcano Parent
What pops into your mind when you think about a volcano? Is it the lava? Or is it the eruption?
By now, it would be clear to you that parents who are described as volcanos are those who can’t control their temper. With our children, it is very, very easy to get angry in an instant. Especially when they are slow and distracted during their homework time.
Or when you discover they make careless mistakes which are unbearable in your eyes. You might then vent your anger on your children by scolding and yelling at them.
You only teach them to fear you. This will not make them understand the consequences or their actions and thus correct their behaviour or attitude.
Under an environment filled with criticism and negative remarks, your children, out of the self-protection mechanism, will either:
- become rebellious
- have low self-esteem
- give up on themselves or
- have delayed responses over everything
So, what you can do instead is to give yourself a timeout whenever you are on the brink of anger. Walk away for a while and take a few deep breaths.
Even if you still yell occasionally, own your mistakes and apologise to your children immediately. You can put a stop to your volcanic behaviour for the betterment of your children.
Here are some better alternatives to deal with short attention span children.
#3: The Machine Gun Parent
Just as a machine gun that is capable of firing bullets non-stop, we sometimes complain and nag too much, especially to our children.
Don’t forget to do your homework. Don’t make me repeat my words! Sit down and finish your homework now!
To make the situation worse, some of us might even complain about how tired we are while monitoring our children to do their homework.
Do you know how tired am I now? Don’t annoy me with your ugly handwriting!
You are not only taking on the responsibility to get your children to complete their homework, but you also burden them with your negative emotions.
Have several ground rules such as no screen time until your homework is done. Or you can ask your children about what would help them get their homework done on time.
With this, you will be able to understand your children’s needs and struggles and give them the appropriate guidance. Bear in mind that our children do best when we encourage them to be independent with their homework.
#4: The Waiter Parent
As parents, we always strive to serve and provide our children with what they need. We prepare them snacks and water while they are completing their homework.
Here’s a scenario to make you understand better and maybe identify whether you are a waiter parent.
Your children have just started doing their homework for 10 minutes.
Darling, Mum has sliced you some apples. Come and eat first. Continue with your homework later.
10 minutes later…
Darling, are you tired? Come and have some water first.
It seems that you are just being loving and considerate towards your children. However, your constant interruptions have disrupted their thinking process.
Eventually, they would be easily distracted and take more time to complete their homework. Is there a better alternative where you can still show your children some love and care while they are doing their homework?
Yes, both you and your children can set a period for “homework time”.
For example, for 40 minutes, your children should put their undivided focus on their homework and you should not interrupt them unless they need your help.
Then, they can take a small break in which they enjoy their fruits, snacks and drinks prepared by you before committing to any other uncompleted homework.
#5: The Google Parent
What is your first move whenever you are not too sure about something? You pick up your phone and search for more information through Google, right? Sometimes, we just rely too much on Google!
What if we become Google to our children?
Whenever our children ask us questions and have doubts about their homework, we give away the answers without a second thought. Just to save time and to shoo them away as soon as possible.
In the long run, your children will learn that they do not need to think to figure out the answers. They will never get to try new methods to solve the questions in their homework and learn from their mistakes.
As parents, what we should do is to prompt our children to think for themselves. Provide guidance and encourage them to try new things, even if they don’t turn out well.
Appreciate their effort and new attempts in solving the questions of their homework.
What we wish to cultivate are children who constantly take risks out and venture out of their comfort zone; not children with all correct answers in their homework.
Your Parenting Styles Matter to Your Children
Remember that homework is never meant to torture both you and your children. Instead, it is an opportunity to revise and strengthen what they have learnt during their lessons.
Nevertheless, it is also an opportunity to teach children to take charge of their learning by exploring and learning more on their own.
So, adopt the parenting styles in which your children learn that their hard work will lead them to learn and opportunities.