Maybe I didn’t read enough but these are the things no one warned me about before I gave birth. I’m writing these down so that mothers who are about to give birth would be better informed.

1. Miscarriage.

No one told me that it was so common until I experienced it myself. I cried so much when the doctor said there was no heartbeat. It was then I found out so many women around me had experienced a miscarriage. The doctor said 1 out of 5 pregnancies would end up in miscarriage. That’s 20%! I want to thank all who shared their story with me and comforted me.

2. Haemorrhoid.

I developed it in my second trimester when I was pregnant with my firstborn. I was shocked, felt ashamed and so unpretty. The nurse explained that it was because the baby was growing and taking up space. Hence, what was supposed to be inside was forced to be outside. Gave me some white little bullet thing to insert before sleeping. According to the nurse, everything will be fine after giving birth. NO, it didn’t. After six months, still there. One year, still there. The nurse said, get some olive oil on my pinky and push it in. 18 months, still there! It got worse when I gave birth to my second born. The main reason why I’m not getting pregnant again: Hemorrhoid. Fyi, 5 years now. Still there. The nurse said, not bleeding, not painful, not itching = no problem. But but but… I feel so unpretty ~ no one told me that haemorrhoids are common among mothers.

3. Iron pills.

I was told the vitamin B and iron pills might cause constipation. No one told me that I would end up with diarrhoea. It was so bad that I consulted my friends (2 nurses & 2 doctors) whether I should continue to take those pills and have watery shit every day or to stop taking those iron pills? They said: Take.
Well, diarrhoea also causes haemorrhoid.

4. Booby-ache.

They were painful for…a few months? I told no one until one day, my friend told me that she thought she had breast cancer because her boobs were so painful only to find out that she was pregnant. I was like, gosh! Me too! They hurt! But just for the first pregnancy. Turns out that it was part of the adjustment. Body was preparing the way for milk to come forth. I’m telling that to moms-to-be now.

5. Boobs again.

Many shared about how their boobs became bigger when the milk kicked in. They just shared about the size. Goodness, it was so painful when mine kicked in. I didn’t know what it was, I thought I could sleep it off and wake up fine. They were as hard as rock the next morning! And soooooo painful I thought I would die! I was told to massage la, cool pack la, warm shower la, cabbage la. In the end, my advice to other new moms. If you intend to breastfeed, please know that milk is going to come all in a sudden which would probably cause pain and discomfort. Firstly, continue to have your baby to suck. Secondly, if your boobs are painful. Use that frozen cabbage leaf or cool pack to ease the pain. Have your baby to suck. Lastly, hot shower/hot towel/massage would soften your boobs. Have your baby to suck.

Conclusion: you need your baby, your baby needs you.

6. Baby’s cry and milk flow

I was dumbfounded when my body reacted without my consent. My baby was upstairs sleeping, I was downstairs eating, he woke up cried and milk would flow. It was totally out of my control. Milk would just flow and wet me whenever he cried. It was like that for a few months. No one told me that a baby’s cry would have such power. So be warned… well, despite that, I also experienced anxiety about not having enough milk when I went back to work after my maternity leave.

7. Breastfeeding is not painful. That’s a half-truth.

It was so painful especially the first 2 weeks of breastfeeding. They said wait till the little teeth come. What?! I was bitten even before that. No one told me that babies would bite so early. However, if I could turn back time, I would still choose to breastfeed my children because it saves a lot of money. Ya la, also the better health, bonding etc.

That’s all for today’s “No one told me that”. Thank you for reading.

Mother of 2.

*Now, go hug your mom, your kid’s mom.