The Danger Of Narcissistic Parents & How It Affects The Children

Narcissism has always revolved around on the topic of loving yourself but many do not know the truth behind how dark and scary it could be.

Actually, narcissism is not just about “I love myself!” but it is actually a personality disorder that can affect other people. 

Narcissist? Have you ever heard or encountered a narcissist? Oh well, how do you even know a person is a narcissist? 

According to Mayo Clinic, “Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultra confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that is vulnerable to the slightest criticism”.

Fun Fact: The first person to identify narcissism as a mental disorder is a physician named Havelock Ellis in 1898.

Myths About How Narcissism Happened:

• It was said that a person named Narcissus from Greek Mythology fell in love with his own reflection that he saw at a lake! 
• He is said to have killed himself or drowned because of his reflection that he adored. 

Children that have narcissistic parents often feel that everything is their fault and feel manipulated. These feelings can affect children’s self-esteem and it’s a toxic environment to grow up with.

Signs of Narcissistic Parents That You Should Know

Highlighted

• Always controlling

Parents that have a way to put their child in a “cage” is one of the traits of a narcissist. They want their children to behave in the only manner that they want and they don’t care about their children.

• Belittle the children’s effort

Most children that have narcissist parents feel that their efforts are nothing. Narcissist parents have a way of making their children feeling like they are not worth it or not good enough. They will never acknowledge their children’s effort no matter how much they have worked hard.

• Does not care about the children’s feeling

Narcissist parents will say things that are hurtful. They never care how much their words and action can hurt their children. 

• Manipulative

They will always turn the table to their children. It is always their children’s fault and never their fault. They will make their children feel guilty about the things that they never do.

• Using the term “I’m the parents, you should listen to me.”

Entitlement is one of the traits of narcissistic parents. They love having power and being able to control their children by using the ‘I’m the parents’ term. A narcissist enjoys the power that they gain and it makes them content.

• Does not care about the children’s opinion

They will never listen to their children! Narcissist parents will always think that everyone is wrong but they are RIGHT. No one else’s opinion matters except theirs and they want other people to accept it.

• Unpredictable

‘Love bombs’ is a term to describe narcissist parents. They will shower you with love, gifts and affections and suddenly can change to another different person. It is very easy for them to change their mood and repeat their toxic behaviour.

The Danger and How It Affects The Children

• Low self-esteem
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Suicidal thoughts
• Always feel like they are being judged
• Insecure attachment
• Lack of parents figure
• Losing a safe place to talk
• Can develop life-long trauma (PTSD)

These effects resulted from the lack of healthy parenting. Every child grows up looking up to their own parents because they are the first people that children grow up with.

Usually, children are proud of their parents and adore them. However, this does not happen when they have narcissistic parents. 

It is very hard for a narcissist parent to change themselves because they will never acknowledge their fault. AT ALL. 

However, if you feel that the signs are aligned to you, you should set an appointment with a psychiatrist or a doctor. There are cases of parents who acknowledge themselves as a narcissist and able to get the help they really need. 

For more information, I would recommend you to watch this YouTube video of Dr Ramani, a clinical psychologist regarding narcissistic parents.