Changes after having a baby can come unexpectedly. But what are these changes new parents have to go through after the arrival of the baby? As the saying goes “two’s a company, three’s a crowd” can be true for some new parents who are caught unaware. Eva Li look at some of the changes that impacted her life since the arrival of her daughter. She offers suggestions on how to cope.
Whenever we heard the news about there’s going to be an addition to the family. It is always exciting for many couples and their family members. Many of us get caught up in the whirlwind of preparation, such as setting up nursery and whatnot. However, when the dust settles, and reality hits, some parents find themselves struggling to cope with this change. For our parents and elders, who are veterans in parenthood. They will casually remark that children require a change in every aspect of life. How true they are.
How Your Relationship Changes After Having A Baby?
A Temporary Goodbye To Couple Night And Me Time
A temporary goodbye is never a forever goodbye though. I mean you got to let things settle in first before you embark in anything you want to do. Well, you can still enjoy some nights out together and even some me time occasionally. You got to take note as it won’t be the same as before, when midnight movies or supper, long trips to the hairstylist, shopping and facials were a norm. Now your focus would be towards your newborn.
The lack of me-time after the arrival of the baby will indeed make you somewhat depressed in one way. Hence why the existence of postpartum depression will make your life a little bit tormenting. But fear not as there are ways to be coping with such a condition. Other than that, your little one will accompany you wherever you go from now on.
When you got to go out to settle out some housing errand such as buying groceries, it won’t be as easy as you think or imagine in your head. For the ones that have a maid or even parents, even in-laws staying nearby is considered lucky. They can drop by their little one at any of the parents or in-laws and leave the baby with the maid for a bit. The ones that aren’t lucky enough well, they got to do it the hard way.
A Slight Change To All Plans
There will be a change in the level of organising and preparing for the things you plan way before the arrival of your little one. As we know, not all plans can be accomplished after the arrival of your baby. It will take a good few months before you can carry out any of your plans. Travelling with a newborn can be a hassle as they easily get cracky if they stay up for too long. I guess you will be hitting the bed early from now on.
Sleepless Nights Become A Norm.
Late nights out were a norm before the arrival of the baby. Now you may find yourself going through sleepless nights taking care of your baby through the night. They will be waking for feeding up or even want your attention, especially in their early months. Some parents can cope with it even though it isn’t as easy as we think. They can cope up until their kids’ toddler years.
Compromise & Sacrifice
To say the least, few significant changes of priorities towards money, time and energy. New mothers are set to struggle in an attempt to juggle house chores, career, family and without a doubt, the newborn. At this stage, you have already plan up that both you and your spouse need to raise your finance game. You need to save up, apply for insurance, medical bills as well as budgeting for current and future necessities.
Ways To Cope
Communication Is The Key
Fret not! All is not lost. Before this turns people off the idea of having children. There is always help and a way to cope with such changes. Many couples prepare for the arrival of their baby but hardly for the shift in their life roles. One way to deal with it is by talking to other parents to get a fair idea of how you want to be as a parent. Not to forget talk about what sort of parenting style you would like to approach.
Other than talking to other parents, you can also opt for reading parenting books. Make sure to make it as a guide or reference for you to get the idea of how you want your parenting to be. Share with your spouse about your stand on things like who to care for your little joy while you’re at work or if you considering to be a stay-at-home-parent during this early age of your munchkin. All you got to do is communicate to get a better answer or even understanding of something.
Parenting Trial And Error
Parenting your kids consume a lot of trial and error at it works. Which means not every parenting technique you think would work for your kids’ works. Every journey you go through raising your kids from newborns to toddlers to kiddies to youths all acquire different parenting styles and techniques. It is never wrong for those trial and error. From mistakes, we learn and aware of what’s actually right.
Help Out Each Other
Remember that parenthood is a partnership in marriage. The traditional view of fatherhood is evolving and changing. Fathers are no longer expected to bring home the bacon and leave the rest to mothers. As such, men should help out with day-to-day care of their kids. It helps promote a more positive and proactive relationship between parents and kids. Even the simplest thing like changing diapers or even bathing a baby can make all the difference. Women can further make the transition easier for their spouses by being encouraging and supportive as well as provide tips for childcare.
Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help
Parenting is not about being a perfect mother or father. It’s about learning, sharing and getting support together as a family. If you ever feel like you are struggling with parenthood, be sure to ask for help. No harm is done if you ever ask for any help. You can ask absolutely anyone you know that will help you. Especially when you are in the midst of postpartum depression. You need all the help you can get.
Money, Money, Money
When money became an issue for both you and your spouse. It is always a good thing if you ever considering into saving up as early as before the baby was even in the picture. If you didn’t secondhand items aren’t always that bad. You can’t always opt for the brand new items if you know you aren’t able to afford it. If you still opt for the brand new ones, like I said saving up before the baby was ever in the picture is your best solution yet.
Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder
Many women lament the changes in their body during and after pregnancy. It continues into motherhood as some mothers struggle to go back to their pre-pregnancy figure and appearance. For a number of us, we find ourselves trying to accept the appearance of stretch marks, extra flab or loose skin and even C-sec scars. It is due to the lack of me-time; many women lose out on the opportunity to go for regular spa and facial treatments. Even a simple haircut or shopping trip becomes a luxury when a baby appears.
Undoubtedly experiencing changes after the arrival of your bundle of joy can be depressing. But hey, look on the bright side. You are going to embark on another journey in your life, which is becoming great parents for your kids. You should be happy and enjoy the moment while it lasts as we all know your little one will soon grow up and you will miss those moments.
For more parenthood tips and tricks, be sure to stay tuned to our blog. Don’t forget to check out Motherhood.com.my to get the best deals off your favourite and trusted brands of baby items.